What I Wish I Knew at 17: You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

At 17, I Thought I Had Life Figured Out

When I was 17, I thought I was going to be the next Billy Graham.

I was in church every time the doors were open—praying, attending every function, even showing up for protests.

If there was an event, I was there. I thought I was answering some kind of divine calling.

Looking back, though, I see it differently.

I wasn’t chasing faith—I was chasing belonging.

I was a nerd. I didn’t have a lot of friends at school, and at times, I was bullied.

But at church, things were different. I was part of something.

People liked me.

I wasn’t just another kid—I was someone.

Church gave me a community, an identity, and a purpose.

And at 17, when you’re trying to figure out who you are, that can feel like everything.

But even then, I had questions.

I didn’t understand why faith was so divided—why belief seemed to depend more on where you were born than on anything else.

If God was so big, why couldn’t he climb a mountain? Why was religion so geographically predictable?

I pushed those thoughts aside. I had a path. I had certainty.

And then, my brother died.

Suddenly, the beliefs I held onto so tightly started unraveling. I had no answers. Just questions.

And my entire life changed.

You’re Not Supposed to Have It All Figured Out

At 17, I thought I had it all planned out.

If I had followed that path—never questioned anything, never explored other perspectives—my life would look nothing like it does today.

For me, my beliefs changed over time. I’m no longer a believer, but that doesn’t mean I think faith has no value.

Humanism doesn’t discredit religion—just like questioning something doesn’t mean rejecting it outright.

For me, though, opening my mind was the most important thing I ever did.

And that’s what I wish someone had told me at 17:

👉 You don’t have to have everything figured out.
👉 You don’t have to lock yourself into a path you’re not sure about.
👉 You’re allowed to change, evolve, and see things differently as you grow.

Because that’s what growing up actually is.

Most Adults Don’t Have It Figured Out Either

At 17, I thought adults had life all figured out.

Spoiler: They don’t.

Most of us are just making it up as we go.

Some of us get really good at pretending we have it all together, but the truth is, we’re all still learning.

Life isn’t a straight path. It’s messy, unpredictable, and full of change.

And that’s a good thing.

If I Could Talk to My 17-Year-Old Self, Here’s What I’d Say

🔹 You are allowed to question things. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you thoughtful.
🔹 Your worth isn’t measured by how well you fit into someone else’s expectations.
🔹 It’s okay if your plans change. They probably will. And that’s not failure—that’s growth.

So if you’re feeling lost, if you’re feeling pressure to figure it all out right now—take a breath.

You’re exactly where you need to be.

Stay curious. Stay human. And always, be kind.

This post is the first in my “What I Wish I Knew at 17” series—a look back at the lessons I wish someone had told me when I was younger.

📝 Upcoming Posts in the Series:
🔹 Failure Isn’t the End—It’s How You Learn
🔹 You Are Not Your Parents’ Expectations
🔹 Not Everyone’s Going to Like You—And That’s Okay
🔹 You Are Not Broken—Even If You Feel Like It

Stay tuned for the next post, and if this resonates with you, Join the conversation—follow me on Socials or check out more posts.