What I Wish I Knew at 17: Not Everyone’s Going to Like You—And That’s Okay

The Desperate Need to Be Liked

Nobody wants to feel like an outsider.

Especially as a teenager, the need to be liked feels like everything.

You just want to belong—to fit in, to be noticed, to be enough for the people around you.

And I tried. Hard.

I Became a Chameleon—And It Didn’t Work

I used to think that if I could just figure out what people liked, they’d like me back.

So I studied.

If a girl I liked was into a certain band or sports team, I’d do my homework.

I’d listen to the music, memorize the stats, and try to become exactly what I thought she wanted.

If I was around the jocks, I’d throw on my Starter jacket and be ready to talk sports.

If I was around the nerds, I’d flex my academic team knowledge and try to impress them.

I even tried band. Spoiler: That wasn’t me either.

I spent so much time shaping myself to fit in that I forgot to ask myself:

Who am I actually?

Because here’s the thing: No matter how much research you do, you’re not a celebrity.

You’re not a famous athlete. You’re not some perfectly curated version of yourself.

You’re you.

And if people don’t like you for you—no amount of pretending will ever change that.

Masking & The Cost of Trying to Fit In

When you spend all your time chasing approval, you start learning how to mask.

You become a master at blending in.

You become an expert at reading the room and adjusting.

You become a version of yourself that shifts depending on who you’re around.

And at first, it works. You don’t feel like an outcast. You feel like you’ve cracked the code.

But what happens when you wear a mask for too long?

You start losing yourself.

You forget what you actually like, what actually makes you happy, what actually matters to you—because your whole life becomes about keeping up an act.

And the worst part? It never truly works. No matter how much you try to mold yourself to fit every group, every conversation, every expectation—someone still won’t like you.

And that realization hurts.

The Only Person You’ll Always Be With Is…You

One day, I had to ask myself:

If I keep changing who I am just to be liked—then who the hell am I?

And more importantly:

Why am I working so hard to be liked by people I don’t even like that much?

That’s when it hit me:

👉 The only person who will always be there, every single day, is me.
👉 The only opinion of me that actually matters—is mine.
👉 The right people won’t need me to change to fit in. They’ll like me for who I already am.

What I Wish I Knew Then

At 17, I thought being liked was the key to happiness.

Now, I know better.

👉 Not everyone is going to like you. And that’s okay.
👉 You don’t have to shape-shift just to fit in. The right people will accept you as you are.
👉 Liking yourself matters more than being liked by everyone else.

Because when you stop trying to be what everyone wants you to be, you start becoming who you were meant to be.

And the moment you stop chasing approval? You become someone worth knowing.

Stay curious. Stay human. And always, be kind.

Where This Series Goes Next

🔹 This post is the fourth in my “What I Wish I Knew at 17” series—a look back at the lessons I wish someone had told me when I was younger.

📝 Upcoming Posts in the Series:

🔹 You Are Not Broken—Even If You Feel Like It (Mental health, self-doubt, and learning to trust yourself.)

Stay tuned for the next post, and if this resonates with you, Join the conversation—follow me on Socials or check out more posts.